Cotton Bliss
by nkitty29
Summary: Jim asks some very  dirty  important questions regarding cotton swabs. Kirk/Spock


I don't own Star Trek.

One of the random ideas that came during lecture today. Warning crackish? There might be more if I can think of some dirty things.

**Cotton Bliss**

Jim asks some very important questions. Implied Kirk/Spock

* * *

><p>"So who was the smartass with the brilliant idea to jump into the sugar river?" Bones glared at his two <em>favorite<em> patients.

Jim gave the doctor a childish grin while Spock remained quiet and emotionless, like always.

"How else were we going to escape from the natives?" The smile didn't leave the captain's handsome face.

"It was, indeed, not the best thought out move." Spock gave his captain a sharp look. He did not like their little swim in the honey-like river. "We could have used another route out. For example-"

"Blah blah blah!" Jim waved his hands around cutting the other off. "There was no time. We needed to get out. They had our phasers. They were ready to shoot and for the first time I wasn't the bloody target!" Jim held Spock's gaze until the Vulcan looked away.

Spock was well aware who was the target was. He had the wound to prove it. If Jim hadn't pushed him into the river, he would have probably had more reminders of today's mission. But, it wasn't the wound that pained him the most, it was Jim's fear of losing him.

Bones watched with boredom. It had become a routine act between the two idiots. One got hurt and the other got worked up about it. The doctor rolled his eyes. He muttered under his breath as he walked over to examine the commanding pair.

He ran his medical tricorder over Spock's now healed shoulder. Luckily, it wasn't too serious. M'Benga did an excellent job with the healing. All that was wrong was the honey-like syrup on him.

"Christine, bring over some those heavy duty Q-tips." He called over his shoulder. "Your ears are filthy." Bones said to the Vulcan. "Clean them like a good little Vulcan and bathe the sweetness off and none of that sonic shower shit." Bones ordered. "Use water."

Spock didn't bother to reply.

Bones expected the silent treatment. He turned to the other across on the bio-bed. "Your turn, Mr. Honeybun."

"Yummy! I love those." Jim swung his legs from his seat. "I always licked then bit. How about Bones? You are going to lick me or go straight to rough play?" The younger man couldn't help, but tease. He wasn't doing it for Bones' reaction (which was an unnecessary jab of a hypo) but for Spock…

From the corner of his eyes, Jim saw those adorable pointy ears turn green. The man smirked. He wondered his Spock was thinking what he was thinking. How many licks until-

"Mr. Spock" Christine's high pitch voice snapped the Vulcan (yes, he was so thinking like Jim) and Jim from their not so clean thoughts. "Here you go." She handed him the box of cotton swabs.

Spock nodded. He looked up at the doctor, refusing to acknowledge the captain. Considering his recent train of thoughts, he wasn't sure he can look at the captain without blushing. No, he had to maintain his cool composure. "Doctor, I will be returning to my quarters now."

Bones shrugged as he examined Jim. "Not going to wait for your boyfriend?" He asked absentmindedly.

Once again, Spock didn't answer. Yet, the fact he didn't continue to move gave the others enough. Jim felt like a giddy teenager at the gesture. The moment was short lived as soon as he felt something in his ear.

"What the hell?" He glared at Bones. The doctor continued to clean the younger man's ears. He ignored Jim.

"I can clean my own ears!" Jim tried to take the cotton swab from Bones. "Come on!"

Bones threw out the swab and reached for another. "I don't trust you. You'll do a quick clean and then dive into work. Or you'll damage your ear canal. Now, stay still. So much crap up in here…your ears are going to rot with this sugar."

Jim sighed and looked over at Spock hoping for some help.

The Vulcan offered none. "The doctor knows best." He said then turned to clean his own ears.

Jim gave up. He started to swing his legs, but it earned him a jab from Bones. He settled with staring at Spock. That was never boring. The Vulcan paid no attention to Jim's gaze. He focused on making sure he was clean. He had to be focus while during such a task…especially in front of others.

There were a few seconds of silent before Jim started to chuckle to himself.

"Christine, did someone leave the nitrous oxide on?" Bones gave Jim an annoyed look.

"The laughing gas?" The nurse shook her head. "No…"

"Then what's so damn funny?"

By that time, Spock's attention was back on Jim. He raised an eyebrow.

"I just thought of something…" Jim licked his lips before giving a sly smile. "I have a question…well questions. You know when you clean your ears and sometimes you hit a certain spot that gives you a tingling sensation."

Bones nodded, but not exactly following what the other was saying. Spock remained quiet yet he knew something was up. The devilish smile and that oh-not-so-innocent tone from his captain were not good signs.

"Oh, I know what you're talking about!" Christine nodded away. "It's a nice feeling almost ticklish."

"Yeah, so what about it?" Bones wanted to get to the point already.

"Well...I was thinking..." Jim turned towards his first officer. "Vulcans are known to have _sensitive_ ears, right?" There was a twinkle of naughtiness in those blue eyes. Spock feared his captain's question.

"So my questions are…can cleaning a Vulcan's ears give them an orgasm?"

Christine gasped. Bones uttered a string of curses.

"Just by cleaning their ears are they masturbating? Spock, you were doing it right in front of us. Do other Vulcans do that? Ooo, some exhibitionism?"

Spock was turning a pretty granny apple green.

"Or is it kink? Or maybe foreplay?"

Jim grew more excited.

"Oh! How intense is the pleasure? Building it up…nice and slow? How long until you come? Do you use one cotton swab? What if you do it to both ears?"


End file.
